While having a fun time break/dinner with a friend/client (of sorts), we started having a conversation. Seeing that we both have mutual associates, she started sharing some stories about a few of them. All through the conversation, I started learning about some of the people I involve myself with. Some of the revelations were obvious while others were shocking. Intentionally, the convo made me realize that people tend to have a lot going on in their lives.

I know that it sounds like gossip (and it really is). However, I tend to use a lot of gossip as a way to study human behavior. I know I will get the “Negro, you just being nosey” response. I’ll take that wager and beat it with “humans are intriguing enough so that their frivolous mentalities can become a learning moment”. Thus, this “gossip” only helps me in my research of the human being.

With that said, I must say this: humans are screwed up people.

Why/How We are Screwed Up

One of the biggest reasons that we, as humans, can be screwed up is due to two words: selfish behavior. No, I am not referring to self-ish (a reference that takes a stand for trying to be the best one can be) [1]. I am not looking at this in a positive light. I am referring to behavior that is both excessive and exclusive, usually happening at the expense/disregard towards the welfare of others [2]. I am referring to those that will always find the “I” in team when it doesn’t exist.

If you are reading this and you say “Hey, I’m not selfish”, then you might want to reconsider your position. If you ever took money out of the collection plate in church, then you were being selfish. If you dated someone just to sleep with your significant other’s best friend, you were looking out for number one. If you thought about your own well-being before anyone else’s and in spite of everybody else, guess what? You are a selfish ass.

Don’t fret, though. If you haven’t figured out, “me” reigns over “we” nowadays.

It is actually something so human that people either justify it or exacerbate it. We will find every reason (good or bad) to actually try and make our behavior acceptable. Many of us will even go as far as disregarding the effects that it will have on others besides (and including) ourselves. Never to be outdone, some of us will even act confused as to why others “just don’t understand our logic”. At the end of the day, many people will supply sustenance for their self-indulgence to the point of stupidity.

The Skinny

Inevitably, humans tend to screw themselves up. An excessive amount of our personal issues and relationship woes can really start at someone being more worried about self than anybody else. Some will believe that their behavior isn’t selfish. In fact, many will work to make it acceptable. When it is all said and done, however, they will have to realize that the “I” in “team” they tried to point out were merely open spaces in the letter “a”: it didn’t exist.

‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!!!

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• When You Want All The Bananas

The post Humans are Screwed Up by Selfishness – Chocolate Covered Lies Pt. 66 appeared first on Chocolate Covered Lies.

Common brought out the realness with this song. This song pretty much found him pondering religion, sexuality, and the true meaning of “staying true” to a relationship. He isn’t without his own faults. However, he did work to make the most of a situation. In summation, he realized that he wanted to be a more dedicated and trustworthy partner.

As beautiful as this song is, there are many cases of the opposite happening today.

Question:

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 and a half years now. Recently, we have been fighting a lot. She can’t listen to me asking her to do something. She won’t leave her ex alone.  I have asked thousands of times for her to leave him alone, but after I returned from basic training there were no changes.  I learned that she has been inviting him to her house alone and she invites guys she barely knows.  She can never stay home. She always has a new guy to talk to and I think she is lying to me. People keep telling me about the things she does. She has even admitted to some of it. Yet, some of the other stuff has no proof to it. I need to know if I’m paranoid.

Answer:

How can you be paranoid?

You have to truly realize for yourself: she just isn’t trustworthy. Why would you have to go through the trouble of always checking up on her if she was? You aren’t acting upon unsolicited suspicion. You are acting on people telling you things AND some of it actually becoming true. Thus, don’t feel paranoid at the fact that she gets caught up in foolishness.

Remember this picture? This is classic.

If anything, you should feel vindicated.

The bigger question is this: Does she take the relationship seriously? I understand that she “gets lonely”. However, why can’t she just be honest and say “she needs a break”? Hell, if she was bold, she would ask for some type of polyamorous relationship. Yet, she chose to “run game” on you and not be totally honest. Thus, she usurped the trust she built for the sake of self-satisfaction.

The fuckery never ends with people. It happens.

I mean…sometimes it is just like this.

What worries me the most is her “loose booty tendencies”. It is one thing to keep in contact with an “old flame”. It is another to have random guys coming over to your place. When you invite people into your abode, you let off signals of “comfort”. So, on some level, she trusts these men. And if she trusts them that much, there are only two ways to think about them: they are non-threats or major threats.

Count your lucky stars you didn’t end up in THIS situation….

No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

In conclusion, you don’t trust her and have every reason not to. Maybe she should just start being real with you. Or, you can drop her altogether because she isn’t very mature. Whatever the case may be, just make sure you understand that you aren’t paranoid. In truth, you are just wise enough to recognize foolishness for what it is worth.

‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!!!

Related articles

• Cheating is Cheating – Plain Truth 61
• Appreciate Your Relationship – Plain Truth 64
• Karma Ain’t Always a Bitch – Plain Truth 65
• More Trust Issues – Plain Truth 66
• Stop Trying to Get Your Ex Back – Plain Truth 67
• I can see what’s going on
• Bout of Books mini challenge: If you liked… Then you’ll enjoy….
• Paranoid
• Changing the Tone of the Relationship – Plain Truth 60
• Control Freaks: Stop Trying to Control Your Mate – Plain Truth 63

The post People Cheat All The Time – Plain Truth 68 appeared first on Chocolate Covered Lies.

Kendrick Lamar had it right with this jam right here. Some people just need to be left to their own devices. As much as you love and care for them, their burdens become YOUR burdens. When that happens, then there has to be a change. Either they lighten up the load OR you cut them off.

Oh, and there are examples to when the burden becomes too much to bear. You will see when I get into this next question.

Question:

I have been with my fiancée almost a year. I have tried my best to treat him right. But, he always doubts me. He yelled at me and told me he reminded me of his mother, who beat him and mistreated him. He doesn’t trust anyone because of his past girlfriends. Because of this, I haven’t eaten in a week. I’ve lost 15 pounds and haven’t done anything but cried. I do this because I feel I am not good enough.

Answer:

You ever heard the old adage “misery loves company”? Well you better remember it cause that “man” that you are with is miserable as hell.

As a man, I am questioning his manhood at the moment. I question it because, as men, we are raised to “avoid those females that come with the extra baggage”. Yet, I see that more and more men are having their little “emotional man purses” with their own baggage they carry around. As I have been taught, this type of madness should be outrageous. From my understanding, men need to make sure all baggage they carry have essentials and not weighed down unnecessary stuff.

Then again, now that this situation is more prominent, maybe I was taught to believe the wrong things about men. I digress.

In actuality, there are plenty of examples of these “men with baggage” (or so it seems). Ami Angelowicz and Amelia McDonell-Parry noted there are quite a few of these “baggage claimers” to avoid, ranging from “the addict” to even the “hero” types [1]. With such a respectable list of emotional men, I had to read along and figure out where your fiancee fit in the grand scheme of things. In fact, I noticed that he was the “eternally heartbroken” type [2]. In the end, men out there TRULY are bigger “bag ladies” than women a lot of times.

What makes him eternally broken hearted is his disposition with his relationships. You are being punished for the sins of another woman [3]. Yet, you stuck around to help him in his rut. The problem is that he hasn’t found the proper closure for HIS issues [4]. Thus, with this broken hearted man, you are stuck in a rut.

Yeah, you see Kanye West with the Goyard. Hilariously, he KEEPS emotional baggage.

My suggestion is this: you need to get him to realize that he is the cause/root of his issues with you. You both have come too far to have this extra baggage to hold you back. If he isn’t willing to drop his baggage, then you (sadly) will have to be willing to drop him. You already disrupted your health and well-being for his issues. Now, it is time for him to man up and see his issues for what they are: Goyard bags of madness.

‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!!!

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• Why ‘she’s got too much emotional baggage’ doesn’t cut it anymore!
• “Be The Backbone, And Not The Backpack”

The post Stop Beating Yourself Up – Plain Truth 69 appeared first on Chocolate Covered Lies.

The way we, as people, think and act tends to sadden me. Some of us believe in things that we shouldn’t even waste time on. Yet, we keep it moving in HOPE to actually succeed with our beliefs. Sometimes, our HOPES and dreams do come true. However, in many cases, things just don’t materialize. In the end, I’m saddened by the sheer displaced HOPE for something that, more than likely, won’t occur.

The Power of HOPE is REAL!!! Well, until Black Adam comes and whoops your ass.

A lot of the problems deal with one word: idealism. Idealism can be defined as the cherishing or pursuit of high or noble principles, purposes, goals, etc; it can also be defined as the tendency to represent things in an ideal form, or as they might or should be rather than as they are, with emphasis on values [1]. By definition, idealism is great for us. It allows us to work to make life into what we desire by adjusting rules and regulations to fit our desires [2]. In play, idealism is great within the right frame of reference.

It is when IDEALISM clashes with REALISM that causes the problem. Still, the underlying factor in all of this is HOPE.

I HOPE he did the right thing there….

Thus, I have to frame my chocolate covered lie to make sense to the world: hope is all we need to succeed.

The Beauty of Having Hope

What makes hope work is that, in the end of it all, people will believe in the “greater and not the lesser”. We see it all the time: in religion, in infomercials and even in literature and motivational speeches. Your reverend/priest/local collection plate pusher works to give you hope every Sunday (Saturday for 7^th Day Adventists). Tyler Perry sells more hope than he sells Madea in grandma stockings and incorrect English. At the end of the day, hope is equal to sex in at least one respect: it sells.

Where Hope Turns Into Haplessness

Yet, just because it sells doesn’t mean it is going to help you out in life. Cigarettes sell plenty. Also, Dr. Dre’s headphones are making him millions. In addition, people play the Powerball lottery knowing their chances of winning are 1 in 175,223,510 [3]. In short, the selling of hope can be like the selling of dope: profitable and at times not helping much.

Expensive ass headphones are top sellers. We are in trouble.

But, I digress.

The problem with all of these ideals entrenched with the “hope factor” is, as usual, people take things way too far. What usually happens is this: people trade “realism” for “idealism”. In fact, they think that they can “change the world” if they “think a certain way”.

Top selling book full of good ideas marred by silliness.

The biggest example of “idealism run amok” through “hope’s rose colored lens” is The Secret. You know, the tome that expresses “mind over matter” and “your thinking creates your universe”? That is the book that I am referring to. While I do agree that thoughts are powerful, I’m not quite sold on the “thoughts manipulating the material world around you” stuff. Quite frankly, The Secret uses good ideas (law of attraction, positive thinking, hope) just to take them much further than they should.

Examples:

A.)  Allowing “positive thinking” to be the factor in actually having a relationship (oage 114) is a dangerous thing. Relationships are a two way street. Positive thinking doesn’t always cross those avenues.

B.)  Telling people that “disease can’t live in the body if it is in a healthy emotional state” is tantamount to madness (page 130). Wouldn’t the more practical thing be get some medicine, get some rest, and take their time? I understand that the mind DOES affect the body. However, statements like the above are a guaranteed slap in the face.

C.)  Jack Canfield had the nerve to say “The anti-drug movement has actually created more drugs. Because we’re focusing on what we don’t want—drugs!” (page 142). No, sir. Drugs are not the direct creation of our focused energy. Talking about drugs, and being focused on their eradication, has no correlative/coordinative relationship with the existence of drugs. Can we stop with the madness?

The Skinny

Hope is a great thing to have. However, do not constantly trade your ideals for reality. Your ideals have to coincide with reality. If not, then you will start ignoring what is right in front of you: the world. With hope, a person should wish for what they want and realistically make those things happen.

‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!!!

Related articles

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• Dare to Win
• Realists and Idealists
• Is being an Idealist ideal?
• New Book by Seth Houston Aims to Transform Lives Through Creative Thinking
• Will-power and Self-discipline. Are they the same?
• Now available: “Methodical Realism” by Étienne Gilson
• Positive Self-Talk: What Does it Mean, and How Do I Learn How To Do It or Make Sure That I Am Doing It Right?
• Men Being Thirsty On The Internet – CCL 70
• Miguel, Black People, and Being Judgmental: CCL 71

The post Hope is Killing Your Life As You KNOW IT – CCL 72 appeared first on Chocolate Covered Lies.

Intriguing enough, Drake released this version of Trust Issues to feature The Weeknd. Since this would be a remix, it would only be fitting. We all know that remixes feature a different take and/or perspective. From there, people can take the situation to new heights and directions. Thus, I think this version is just as potent as the one I posted in my previous trust blog.

The song has this much meaning because trust issues come from not only male infidelity but female infidelity, too.

Question:

I’ve cheated and lied to my boyfriend in the past, but I’m a changed person now. Yet, he still has doubts and doesn’t feel like he can trust me anymore. How can I earn back his trust? How can I show him I’ve changed? And, how can make this a 50/50 relationship?

Answer:

I would have gotten deeper into WHY you cheated in the first place. However, now isn’t the time for that. Right now, let us work on proving you are “worthy of trust” again.

THIS is probably how he looked when he found out….

All of this will depend on two things: how you prove to be towards him and the relationship and how he takes everything.

At some point, he has to realize that you have changed. You can keep proving it to him time and time again if you want to erase any doubts. But this all depends on how deeply he either “notices” or “wants” to believe that you are capable of recognizing your mistakes and not making them again. If it is apparent that you are making an effort, then he needs to recognize and realize that you want things to be different. Otherwise, he is being delusional and your efforts will be for naught.

Maybe if they learned how to spell “homosexuals”, then I would be convinced…..

There are numerous things that you can do. One thing to do is hold yourself accountable for where you are at all times. He doesn’t need to know your every move. But, he should be able to know most of thme or predict the rest. Also, there is the “mystical magic” of prayer (whether you believe it helps or not). In addition to prayer, making sure you communicate when you are in AND out of the house tends to help. There are numerous ways to assist your situation.

These are the breaks! Kurtis Blow style!

Whatever reason you cheated is neither here nor there. What you need to focus on now is making sure your relationship is plausible and worthwhile. If you want trust, then give him every reason to feel secure. Otherwise, this will be a wasted effort from the beginning. Still, he has to recognize that you are working to change or it will be a headache. I know lied in bed while lying to him. Now it is time to make up your bed while you make it up to him.

‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!!!

Related articles

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• Why Women Cheat
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• A Cheating Man Will Show This Ten Things
• Infidelity Explained
• Dear Sharideth, He Wants a Prenup
• More Trust Issues – Plain Truth 66

The post Earning Back Someone’s Trust – Plain Truth 75 appeared first on Chocolate Covered Lies.

Alright, you all. I know I can rub people the wrong way. I know that I can get on people’s nerves. Within all of that, I know that my approach can become an acquired taste. Thus, I know that there are times when I am probably overstepping the line.

At other instances, I just like being a habitual line stepper. But, I digress.

Oh, and fugg your couch.

Yet, I know I keep having a hard time because we, as a society, are a trendy bunch of jock straps. All we do is ride the wave of “what is popular” without taking the time to think if the new trend is smart, appropriate, or worthwhile. Instead, we look for the “in thing” to follow with little thought or consideration. And, with automatic recognition, we will justify our actions to people will disagree. In short, too many of us are followers.

I guess this is why I insult people: I’m not a pure follower. People need to start working on their train of thought.

Chocolate covered lie: The things I believe and promote are actually worthwhile/have substance.

The Positive

Sometimes, trends are a great thing. You are allowed to experience something different/new that actually improves life. Also, some trends are constructed for the sake of convenience. Think about it: devices like laptops, smartphones, microwaves,  and other devices are worthwhile. In addition, the increase of “exercise programs”, warning labels for cigarettes, and other things related to health have been helpful. Thus, not all trends are silly or worthless.

The Big, Bad Negative

However, too many times there is a new wave of thinking/doing things that just doesn’t sit well with simple logic. I am going to run a few by you all and explain the issues:

1.)    The “No New Friends” ideology: I understand/respect the fact that many of us don’t like “letting squares into their circle”. I also understand that you should hold onto the friends that you have found along the way. But the ideology of “no new friends” promotes stagnation and ignorance. What type of growth will you experience unless you expand your horizons? How can you make moves/progress unless you find different friends in different areas? If you move from one town to another (out of state), you don’t think you will get new friends? If they are true friends, then you should work to have as many as possible. Peace to Drake.

Sing it, Kevin Hart!!!

2.)    The “There is no such thing as trying; you are doing it or you aren’t” mentality: a female that I know hipped me to this one. Yeah, I must admit: I thought it was the most thoughtless thing ever (at the moment). I know we live in a “success or else” society. I get that. But, a person’s efforts are never “black or white”. “Trying” does exist in every form. “Success” can sometimes be seen as an end goal. Just because you are “doing something” doesn’t increase the absence of “making the attempt to do it”. “Doing something” mean you “got it right”. That should not disqualify someone from “trying to get it right”. Get it? Good.

And I disagree, little green giant.

3.)    My Enemies are Your Enemies: Now, this is the mentality that has stood the test of time and maturity (obviously). You know you see it weekly when you watch shows like Love and Hip Hop Atlanta and other shows that display females acting like mere chicken heads fighting over bird seed. Too many people (especially females; you know it is true) that “if I don’t like someone, you shouldn’t either”. I don’t know how people can deal with that follower mentality for so long. However, I will put it like this: as a man I pick my own friends and pick my own enemies. It is one thing if that person did something dastardly/life threatening to you. However, if your disagreement is simple, then those two need to iron that foolishness out. I’m not a part of your problem. I won’t be someone instigating it, either.

Stop riding Pac’s coattails and use your own brain.

4.)    You Only Live Once (YOLO): Drake strikes again. Yeah, it was the motto. Yet, for so many simpletons it is still the motto. When left to its simplest terms, it is pretty cool. However, when taken to extremes it can be very dangerous. Just because one “lives once” doesn’t mean that a person should “do anything they want to do” for the sake of experience. I wouldn’t suggest smoking crack, doing heroin, or killing someone because “you only live once”. More than anything, you should value your life more because “live once, you only”.

Han Solo is the only one that should concern himself.

The Skinny

Trends of thought are fine when they make sense. However, they are not good, smart, or healthy when they are not logically sound. With an understanding, trendy thinking tends to have an attention span shorter than leprechauns anyway. Whatever people think is going to last usually doesn’t. At the end of the day, people need to stop being “trendy” and start being “vintage” and “classic” in their thoughts.

‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!!!

Related articles

• Why Everybody Should Say no “No to New Friends”
• Earning Back Someone’s Trust – Plain Truth 75
• Book Review #13- Deviants (Dust Chronicles Book 1) by Maureen McGowan
• He Has 25 Questions, I Have 25 Answers!!!
• Friends…How Many of Us Have Them?
• Drake Tickets Take Fast Track on BuyAnySeat.com
• Article by Ivan Okirike: Why Everybody Should Say No to “No New Friends”
• How To Approach Someone You Find Attractive – Plain Truth 76
• Move Over Miley…And Chris: Rihanna And Friend Melissa Forde Show Off Twerking Skills While Listening To Drake
• All The Things I Didn’t Say ….

The post The Problem With People And Why Their Train of Thought Is Corny – CCL 76 appeared first on Chocolate Covered Lies.

George Zimmerman was found not guilty.

On one hand, this doesn’t shock me one bit. The fact that this case even went to trial for so long kind of led me to believe that Zimmerman would get off easy. The prosecution team did spotty at best. Some of the witnesses for Trayvon were off to wholly unprepared. So, things were shaky in the first place.

Yet, I thought one thing would prevail: common sense. Put it this way: you have a man (possibly racist) follow a teenage when he was told not to. He ends up getting into a fight with said teenager and kills that teenager. We KNOW he profiled him, followed him, and killed him. We KNOW he was told not to do this. In the end, he did what he wanted to do and ended up doing the unnecessary.

At the very least, he SHOULD have gotten manslaughter. But yet again, another GUILTY person was found NOT GUILTY.

People ARE this smart.

And to be honest, I am not sure which is worst: the actual verdict or the misguided ass responses to the situation. I understand that many of “you out there” don’t care. Good. Don’t give a fuck. And I also understand that you are tired of it being a “racial issue”. Good. Stop being racist or end racism and we will get it together (and by “we”, I mean Black people). But PLEASE make sure you understand that this issue will not end because you don’t like it/agree with it. We have every right to feel the way we feel. Don’t let your apathy get tangled up with my empathy. In the end, my empathy will whoop your apathy’s ass.

Don’t believe me? Try me.

Never should have been prosecuted, huh Steve King???

Now that I addressed the responses, let me address America as a whole: you have failed us all. Yes, “us all” and not only “Black America”. YOU have determined that the justice system doesn’t work for teenagers that are profiled. YOU have determined that the justice system is leery of those Black people with very little money (you see OJ won, right). YOU have determined that it takes a white person in Florida can be of “the fairer skin” and may get off with murder. In the category of justice, YOU get an “F”, America.

Yep: and many of us took the time to poke fun. So disrespectful.

Be proud. You earned it.

This situation opens up a can of worms. Once people stop believing in the judicial system, they BECOME the judicial system. So, you will either see people not trust in the system doing them any good (and not deal with it) or simply don’t care (and abide to their own). They will either avoid the situation or take things into their own hands. And is this really what we want as an American populace? Do we REALLY want a bunch of human beings not abiding by the laws that are supposed to protect us because we can’t trust them in the first place?

That is a good question: WHEN will it end?

When The Onion makes a joke about your judicial system, then wear the punch line around your neck. You, my good judicial system, are the joke.

Peace to Michael David Dunn on that one.

So, what can we do in order to actually find some true peace? For one, you can simply sign petitions that will have him served with a civil rights/wrongful death charges. Also, you can actually take a stand. Don’t riot. Don’t destroy. Peaceful protests and staged situations are cool, but we have to show the world we are above the insane reproaches. We, as black people, have to demonstrate that we can “use the law” to fight “against the law”. That is the only simple way to do it.

Oh, and rest in heaven to Trayvon Martin. We won’t forget you. Ever.

‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!!!

:

Related articles

• Zimmerman Walks Because the Rich has Rights to Kill the Poor
• R.I.P Trayvon Martin: Florida’s Racist Judicial System
• Blurred Lines: A Letter to My Black Peers on Tenacity.
• Zimmerman family releases statement
• Eliot Spitzer Blasts The George Zimmerman Verdict: ‘This Is A Failure Of Justice’
• July UBC#15 Why I Chant/Sign the Petition
• New Black Panthers: Zimmerman Verdict Means ‘War’
• Justice For Trayvon
• It’s just plain wrong!
• The George Zimmerman Trial shows How YOU Might Not Care About Black Life

The post Dear America: You Have Failed Trayvon Martin And Everyone Else appeared first on Chocolate Covered Lies.

People know NOTHING about this track right here. This is that love song for all the underground hip hop heads out there. Truth Enola did his thing on this. But Jean Grae brought it home on her verse. I mean, what is better than love that was nourishing and now that has to end? I mean, their love IS venomous. Right?

But what happens when that “ill lovin’” just doesn’t want to let go?

Question:

So I still like my ex. But I have a boyfriend. My ex and I are still friends. He doesn’t like that I have a boyfriend. I told him to get a girlfriend, but he said that if he did then he wouldn’t be able to talk to me. He lives far away and I never get to see him. But, I don’t want to lose him. I don’t know what I should do. Can you give me any advice?

Answer:

Of course, I can give you advice: drop his ass off to the nearest corner so he can sell that foolishness to someone else.

You SAY you and your ex are friends. I beg to differ. Actually, you are probably correct (in your perception of the situation). But, does your ex think of you as “a friend” or “the one that I want to keep around or possibly get back with”? If he is truly your friend, why is he trying to work you over so hard about your relationship? Why is he working so hard to cause conditional contusions to your companionship?

Oh, wait. I understand why he is doing this: you keep leaving the door open for him to play the silly reindeer games.

Get caught up if you want to.

I understand: you want him as a friend. Trust me, I understand. You want to keep him around because he means so much to you. The love that you have for him can ease your pain and actually motivate you to make great strides in your present relationship. To you, keeping him around can be copasetic.

But the problem has just begun. Let me break this down in “player language”:

Sometimes, you have to re educate them to the purpose of their goals and desires.

In reality, though, your ex needs to be excommunicated. He wants to push his pimp hand on you because you still want to be his trick. You still want him to be the “bottom bitch” (main girl) deep down. But a pimp process don’t work like that. Once you leave one daddy, you go to the other one. Going back is difficult and disrespectful. So, don’t do it.

Now dig that.

**takes off player hat and gets back in regular mode**

So, do you understand now? If not, then you just need to leave the ex-boyfriend alone and focus on your relationship. Close the door and lock it. See each other through the window pane or the peep hole. He still wants to be number one. He has been waved. He has been picked up by another team. So, he needs to leave that Randy Moss stuff at home and leave you alone.

One hand catch on you lames.

And vice versa.

‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!!!

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• How To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back: Learning To Love Yourself
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• Why Sugar Daddies Are The New Boyfriends
• Hip Hop Ladies Night – Artist Review – Jean Grae

The post When Your Ex Just Won’t Let Go – Plain Truth 81 appeared first on Chocolate Covered Lies.

Travelling through this thing called “life”, I notice that many of us have differing opinions on certain things. Many people may think that Michael Jordan is the best player, while others harken back to the days of Bill Russell. Also, some may think that the Beatles are the best rock band ever. Then again, there are those that would disagree with that sentiment. Whether you think that Batman was done correctly by Tim Burton or Chris Nolan, at least know that life is filled with conflicted views. It is these conflicted views that make life worth living, right?

I know, I know: that entire introduction paragraph seemed like a lot of rambling. Okay, I will get to the point.

I just wanted to get into a series of questions that has been on my mind for some time. These questions revolve around one main question: What is love?

I’ll bet you that you are looking at me sideways OR expecting something more in depth. Well, please expect the latter while you do the former.

I’m just asking, though.

Is love the monogamous unity that so many women and men work hard to attain? Is it jumping the broom while many celebrate the union that only Elohim himself can keep from going asunder?

Or is love the actual existence of bonds that shake the core of status limitations and definitions given by cultural standards that many find to be played out?

Is love the prescribe medicine that many people considers to be the conqueror of all things in this world?

Or is love a four letter word used loosely by many to attain the unattainable, to go for the unrealistic, and to manipulate the naught-manipulated?

I’m just asking, though.

Is love the smile that you are given when you give an unexpected surprise to the one you are dating/courting/married to?

Or is love the smile that you are given when you give an unexpected surprise to someone that will never be, or can ever be, yours in the first place?

Is love taking care of the children of the woman you married even though they aren’t yours?

Or is love working hard to take care of the kids that aren’t even yours with women that you will never be romantically involved with?

Is love spending time on a romantic date just to make love to that special someone and it almost feels like heaven in his/her arms?

Or is love spending time with someone just to be in their presence and bathe in their aura?

These are real questions, you know.

Is love doing all of the fantasy-world things to win over the “man/woman of your dreams”?

Or is love doing all of the fantasy-world things to make someone of the opposite sex happy to wake up and see the next day?

Is love feeding each other wedding cake fresh off of the wedding knife?

Or is love doing all the things that you can for someone you aren’t ever going to date just for them to find some peace within his/her life?

I have my own definitions of love. The only problem is that they are all of the above.

So, tell me: what is love?

I’m  just asking because I would like to hear/read your answer.

‘Nuff Said and ‘Nuff Respect!!!

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The post What is Love – I Just Want Opinions appeared first on Chocolate Covered Lies.

Sometimes, there are situations where your significant other seems to be “trippin’ out”. Maybe they aren’t acknowledging the obvious. Or, maybe you aren’t realizing the truth of the situation. No matter the situation, this Prince Markie Dee song makes sense. In retrospect, people have to figure out what their present situation holds.   This song really helped me with a situation in which I had to help someone in their own love life. 
 
Question:  

I need help with this girl I like.   I really like her and we spend a lot of time together, but I’m not quite sure she likes me as much as I like her. We’ve known each other from school for about three years, but since about March, we started talking a lot and eventually we reached the hugging stage. Sometimes we’d just stand there in an embrace. I’ve started to walk her home and today we held hands on the way home but she doesn’t look at me the same way I look at her..   I tell her she is really pretty, smart and all the things she is but she is self-conscious and the conversation is always stilted when I tell her, and it’s pretty obvious I like her. Even her friends notice something between us.   Care to give me any advice?  

Answer:  

Sure. I would love to give you advice on this one. She needs to realize that what she has is more than “a friendship”.  

The biggest problem with many relationships, albeit in youth or in full grown maturity, is that we don’t realize how strong feelings really are between two people. Of course, the relationship starts off as a “friendship”. Then, people start spending endless amounts of time either hanging out or communicating. The connection becomes stronger. The bond becomes almost infused. In truth, the two people become a sort of “item” (friendly or not).  

Then, there is the “avoidance of truth”. You have someone feeling “more than the other”. Or, you plain have someone in denial. However it happens, you may end up having someone that wants to be “just friends” or “want to be friends with benefits”. In falsehood, there is a lot of disavowal of honesty within the situation.  

So, that leaves us with two main possibilities: the insipid “friend zone” or the even more hindering “friends with benefits”.

I mean, it only makes sense.

  I can slightly respect “friend zone” because some people need to remain friends and do nothing more. But the “friends with benefits” thing is idiotic (which I explained many moons ago). Please remember that if you are romantically involved with friends, it can only be two things: a relationship or a love affair. Then again, I don’t really see the different between those two outside of one being way more acceptable than the other.  

And this leads up to YOUR present situation. You can’t be “just friends” with a female that you walk around holding hands with and doing all of these “romantic things” for. Walking her home? Overindulgent hugging and long embraces? She wants the benefits of having a friendship and doing all the things lovers do with the least amount of emotional investment.

Oh, man……

  Maybe she is scared. Maybe she doesn’t know how to handle relationships. I do know one thing: all of that crap isn’t your damn problem.   So, from here, I think she needs to pick which side she is going to be on. If she wants “simple friendship”, then she needs to go for that. If she wants to do all of that “lover stuff”, then she needs to realize that her emotions have to be invested. She wants the best of both worlds. Yet, I have mentioned before that only Jay-Z and R-Kelly tried to have that. It failed. If they couldn’t succeed in having “the best of both worlds”, then I think her chances are slim.  

Best of Both Worlds – proof that it just does not work.

    She needs to be a “friend” or a “lover”. She can’t be a “friend with the benefits that lovers” give.   Play the game fair or find another sport. Period.  

‘Nuff Said and ‘Nuff Respect!!!
 

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